


Right Where You Left Me

by notsodarling



Series: the battle picked me [1]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28363320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notsodarling/pseuds/notsodarling
Summary: A time traveling Alex shows up at the junkyard with a request for Michael.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: the battle picked me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2084403
Comments: 25
Kudos: 74





	Right Where You Left Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a prompt someone gave me months and months ago, that I forgot all about because I wasn't writing much at all. I found it again this weekend, and thought I'd give it a try.
> 
> This is just... so much angst. 
> 
> title from "right where you left me" by Taylor Swift.
> 
> <3

When Michael slides out from underneath Mrs. Bernhardt’s sedan, he’s not surprised to find someone standing near his feet. What is shocking is that it’s Alex waiting for him, a furrow to his brow, and as Michael looks closer, he realizes it’s not the Alex he left at home that morning. This Alex’s hair is spiky short, there’s more stress around his eyes, and he’s not smiling.

Something is off.

“You’re not Alex,” he says immediately.

Not!Alex shakes his head, but his shoulders deflate a little, and Michael watches as he takes a deep breath, something so intrinsically his Alex, it makes Michael want to reach out and touch him, make sure he’s okay.

“I don’t have much time-”

“Who are you?” Michael interrupts, because it seems like the most important question.

“I’m still Alex,” the man who looks like Alex replies, staring back at him. “I’m just, not from now.”

Michael takes a step forward, because that much is obvious. “Where are you from?”

“It’s so good,” Not!Alex pushes on, hands clenched tight at his sides, not answering his question, which only fuels Michael’s curiosity about what the hell is going on. Not!Alex is staring at him in a way that appears almost painful to look at him, a way his Alex hasn't looked at him in years. “ _It’s so good to see you_. I never thought - I thought I’d never get the chance again.”

It throws Michael, the way Not!Alex is speaking. Everything between him and Alex has been going good, it’s been fantastic really. It’s felt like after years of the two of them fucking it up, of bad timing and dating other people, they’ve finally managed to get to a spot in their lives where it works, where they work. Michael wakes up in bed every morning, and Alex is the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes, and he wouldn’t trade that for anything else in the world.

Michael was starting to believe they'd gotten it right.

“What do you mean?”

Not!Alex glances around the junkyard, as though it’s somewhere he knows but hasn’t seen in a long time, a wistfulness to his expression that Michael doesn’t understand at all.

“I don’t have much time,” Not!Alex starts again, taking a few steps closer, but Michael stays where he is, leaning against Mrs. Bernhardt’s car. “You and Max and Isobel are meant for things greater than this planet. And you have to choose them. You have to choose the destiny you were born for.”

Michael stares at him, because it sounds like absolute bullshit. It sounds like the savior crap Max used to peddle when he was trying to understand his own history. But it hits Michael, the part that Not!Alex is obviously refusing to say. The reason he looks infinitely older than he is.

"You sound like Max," Michael spits back, not wanting to hear it. He and Alex have already dedicated too much time agonizing over Michael's past, over the reason they'd been brought here to Earth as children. At one time, Michael thought he'd feel more of a connection to the people he'd left behind, but these days that's simply not the case.

"Turns out, he was right." Not!Alex pauses, just out of reach. “You were right.”

"Why are you here? To tell me I'm not allowed to be happy - we're not allowed to be happy? We worked-" Michael feels his telekinesis surging out from underneath his skin, needing to reach out, to be released.

Because that has to be it. Why else would a time traveling Alex be here, asking him to make a different decision. One that this Alex, his Alex - Alex in any timeline - would know he’d never want to make. His own history, where he came from, why he’d ended up on this planet, is important. But nothing compares these days to the absolute happiness he feels from being with Alex.

Not!Alex is suddenly standing in front of him, hands on his face, foreheads pressed together. Michael tries to focus on the touch, on Not!Alex's breathing to calm himself.

"We did," Not!Alex whispers, his voice low and soft. "We made promises to each other, and got married, and were going to grow old together."

Michael pulls back, fingers wrapping around Not!Alex's wrists, and pulling them off his face but holding them against his chest.

"We're married?"

It seems impossible. A dream he's had since he was seventeen, one that ebbed and waned through the years as they'd fall apart and come back together.

"Kyle performed the ceremony. We had it on the porch of the cabin, and everyone important to us was there to see."

Married.

_He married Alex._

"But then why are you here? If we're happy, if we're married?"

Not!Alex reaches up with one hand, fingers stroking along his face, brushing against the stubble along his jaw, and Michael watches as Not!Alex closes his eyes, taking a deep breath to calm himself. Michael wonders what happened, what's in.store for the future that has made these changes in Alex.

However, it is the way Not!Alex looks at him that truly is the worst. His eyes, big and sad, always looking to be on the verge of tears, but always _always_ full of love.

Not!Alex rushes forward, crashing their lips together, and Michael can’t help himself, he melts underneath the feeling. Because apparently it doesn’t matter if it’s his Alex, here in the present day, or some version of Alex from a future that might not even happen, Michael is drawn to him. Michael slips his hands around Not!Alex’s waist, holding him tight, pressing their bodies together. This Alex kisses harsher, with a hunger Michael hasn’t felt between them since the reunion all those years ago. As though it might be the one and only time they have.

And maybe for this Alex, it is.

"I'm here because you chose me." Not!Alex speaks as though it's the whole truth, and Michael should understand his meaning. As he pulls back and away, Michael catches a glimpse of the tears in his eyes. " _You chose me, and I still lost you._ "

What could possibly make Michael look away from Alex? To choose him, and then lose him? It doesn't make any sense.

There’s something he’s missing, some detail Not!Alex isn’t telling him.

"Alex" Michael pleads, looking up into the eyes of the man he loves. Even if this isn't his Alex, it's still Alex. It's still the same person he's loved every day since he was seventeen. "You have to tell me what's going on. Why are you here?"

Not!Alex pushes back, away from Michael, and glances around quickly.

"They're coming. And when they do, you and Max and Isobel can stop them. The three of you are more powerful than you know." Michael moves to speak, but Not!Alex shakes his head, turning back to look at him and continuing. “Together, the three of you can save us.”

Michael doesn’t like how Not!Alex is talking, all these vague references to events that haven’t happened yet. He knows he should be more worried, but it reminds him of the random things Max said Noah spouted the night he died. But it’s been years, they couldn’t put their lives on hold forever for something that might never happen.

“What are you talking about? It’s been years, and there’s been nothing-”

Not!Alex shakes his head, and Michael sees the tears in his eyes.

“Break my heart, Michael. You need to-” he cuts himself off, swiping at his eyes, and Michael feels glued to where he’s standing. “ _Don’t choose me_. Break my heart, walk away from me, and maybe- maybe it’ll end differently. If you do, it might end differently.”

“But we’re happy _now_!” 

“I know,” Not!Alex replies, because of course he does. He’s already lived through it, he knows how happy they are. “But if you do this now, it means we may still have a future. It means we can try again some day.”

What would make Alex travel back here, to the past, to make sure Michael makes a different decision? What could have happened that he’s here now, that he didn’t go further back, try and undo all the fighting and the walking away and every other problem that’s occurred to keep them apart? He doesn’t understand why Alex would choose today, when they’re happy, when they’re together, when they’ve worked past so much of their problems-

“How did I die, Alex?” He asks the question thinking of every piece of science fiction media he’s encountered, wondering if there’s some sort of space time continuum issue in him finding out the details of his own death. 

He recalls those hours after finding out Alex had been injured in Iraq, fearful that they’d never see each other again. Trying to not completely lose his mind as he hacked into military websites looking for any update as to Alex’s status, needing to know what was going on, and having no other options.

Not feeling like he could breathe again until he found out Alex was alive and stable, underground surgery for his leg at a hospital in Germany.

But Michael can tell that his death, one that hasn’t happened yet, has decimated Not!Alex, and tore him apart at the seams to the point that he’s discovered a way to time travel and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

“I can’t-” Not!Alex starts, shaking his head, even as Michael tries to take a step toward him. “Break my heart, Michael. Promise me you’ll _break my heart_.”

It’s the last thing he wants to do. It’s the one thing he doesn’t ever want to do.

Even entertaining the idea in his mind, the possibility of it, feels like he’s breaking his own heart in the process.

“What do I tell Alex? I can’t just- he deserves so much more than this.”

“He does, and it’s enough that you know that. But you’ll both be okay, you’ll be alive, and that means you can be together again. You can make it work again.”

“You think so?”

Once, he’d hated the idea of hoping. He’d hoped his family would return and save him. He’d hoped he’d be adopted like Max and Isobel were. He’d hoped to make something of himself, give himself a future since no one else cared enough to. He’d hoped that maybe one day this planet would feel like home, somewhere he could have a family.

Michael has hoped for so many things in his life, and been let down too often.

But Alex. 

Alex has always been that one bright spot in his life, through everything. Even at their worst, even when they weren’t good for each other.

"He loves you," Not!Alex answered simply. "I love you."

Michael feels himself shatter from the inside out.

He shakes his head at this impossible task, letting his whole body lean against Mrs Bernhardt’s car, and sliding to the ground, feet kicking out beneath him as he lands roughly in the dirt. The tears fall freely, Michael hadn’t even realized he’s been on the verge of crying until he feels the wetness caressing the skin of his cheeks, dripping down onto his shirt and hands. 

When he looks up, after wiping away the tears, and being able to see clearly again, Not!Alex is gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! <3


End file.
